


The Curse of the Trivial Tail

by vampireisthenewblack



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cat Allergy Warning, Cat!Stiles, Derek Never Left, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, No 3b Spoilers, Post-3a AU, Tail!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:46:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampireisthenewblack/pseuds/vampireisthenewblack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Stiles acquires a tail, and Derek likes it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curse of the Trivial Tail

**Author's Note:**

> This is ridiculous, jsyk.
> 
> Isaac's referring to the manga _Loveless_. I've read a bit, not much. Not enough sex :D I don't think Isaac's read much of it, either. I don't know why Stiles doesn't have ears. Ears don't do much for me. Tails are _awesome_. ♥ to venis_envy for curtailing the trainers and having a proper allergic reaction when she read this.
> 
> [I haven't seen any of 3b yet, please no spoilers. Ta :)]

"It was crazy," Allison says, looking a good few inches shorter than usual. "Every pair I pulled out of the closet, as soon as I put them on, the left heel broke."

Stiles, along with Scott, Isaac, and Lydia, looks down at Allison's tennis shoes.

Allison shrugs. "They're all I've got left."

A couple days later, Stiles finds Scott banging his head against his locker. Over and over and over again, soft little thuds that nevertheless are putting a dent in the door. "Dude," Stiles says. "What?"

"I flunked the English assignment," Scott says.

Stiles takes a step back and shakes his head. "How? That's impossible. I checked it."

Scott jerks a folded wad of paper out of his pocket and thrusts it into Stiles' hands. Clearly visible on one corner is a big, red, circled F.

"Dude," Stiles says. "That sucks."

By lunchtime, Stiles has it all figured out. "It's a curse," he says. "Because of our ice-bath-out-of-body-spirit-walk thing. First Allison, then Scott. Obviously I'm next."

Allison blinks. Scott gapes. Lydia cocks her head and frowns. Isaac says, "So what's going to happen to you?"

This is what Stiles has worked out: Allison likes shoes. It's a girl thing. Scott worked hard over the summer so he wouldn't be behind in school. Both important to Scott and Allison but trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Like Stiles' computer. The hard drive could fry, and it would piss him off, but all he'd lose would be three years worth of collected porn. All the important stuff is in the cloud, so even if he got the worst virus on earth and had to write the computer off, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Stiles goes to sleep that night secure in the knowledge that it will all be okay.

He wakes in the morning knowing that things are very, very bad.

* * *

"Did you get a cat?" Derek asks, his nostrils flaring.

They're at the loft because Stiles isn't ready to take his little problem to Deaton. He's not in the mood for cryptic right now, he needs answers, dammit.

"Ha ha," Stiles says. "Do I go around asking if you got a dog? No, I don't, because that would be rude. Just because I suddenly have—"

Derek gets right in his space, crowding up close, sniffing.

"What." Stiles says.

With a hand on Stiles' shoulder, Derek turns him. "Did you hide it down the leg of your jeans?"

Stiles feels the tip twitch as the level of mortification rises to a point where he wishes he got the whole package so he could claw Derek's eyes out. "Shut up."

"Can I see it?"

"No." Stiles pushes Derek away. "How is this fair? Allison's shoes broke. So what? She can buy new ones. Scott can redo his assignment—and maybe get Lydia to check it instead of me this time. How am I supposed to get rid of this?"

It's swishing madly now inside the leg of his jeans, making the heavy fabric wiggle like there's a snake in his pants. It's starting to hurt and everyone in the room is staring.

"Oh for the love of god," Stiles groans, and then pops the button of his jeans so they fall to sit low on his hips. He fishes in the back of them, hooking his fingers under and slowly guiding it out. He sighs in relief, because it's no fun having a tail that apparently has a mind of it's own stuffed down your pants.

"Oh, dude," Scott says. "That is weird."

Stiles glares, and his tail waves madly behind him.

"Feel it," Allison says, standing off to his right with her hand held out so the fur brushes over her palm with every swish. "It's so soft."

"It's a pretty color," Lydia says.

"It's the same color as his hair," Isaac says.

Lydia shrugs. "It's important that collars and cuffs match."

"Oh my frickin _god_ ," Stiles says. "I have a _tail_. Your curses are gonna go away. They're..." he struggles for a word but his mind is too messy and it won't come.

"Ephemeral?" Scott says.

Stiles blinks. "I probably would have gone for temporary, but whatever, dude."

"Maybe," Isaac says. "Maybe it's like that comic book. If you lose your virginity, the tail goes away. That would make it temporary, right?"

"If I lose my..." Stiles rubs his hands over his face, screws his fists into his eyes. "Why? Why me? Always with the virgin thing, and how the hell am I supposed to get rid of that now? No one wanted to have sex with me before. I fail to see how that's going to get any better now that _I have a tail_."

"I'll do it," Derek says.

The room goes silent except for the soft stutter as the length of Stiles' tail quivers against the back of his jeans, and the quiet creaking of the spiral staircase. "Does that thing always do that?" Stiles whispers.

"Yep," Isaac says.

Derek's still looking at him, an expectant smile on his stupid, ridiculously attractive face.

"Yeah, very funny," Stiles says. "Screw with the virgin, because it's hilarious to see him scramble for your attention."

"I'm not messing with you, Stiles."

"I think Derek actually does want to screw you," Isaac says. "In the good way."

A tremble goes through Stiles, a gentle, pleasurable shiver that starts at his shoulders and ends at the tip of his tail. "Oh."

"Right," Allison says. "I'm going shopping. Lydia?"

"I've got an assignment to redo," Scott says, following the girls to the door.

"I'm with Scott," Isaac says.

And Stiles is left alone with Derek.

"Why?" Stiles asks, when the silence has stretched so long he wonders if Derek's waiting for him to make the first move.

"I can't help out a friend?"

"I see." Stiles nods. It makes perfect sense. Stiles is, despite his frail humanity, always the one to save Derek's life or help him out of a jam. It's only natural that Derek would want to repay that. "Taking one for the team," he says. "Doing it with the freak."

Derek's lips twitch into a smile and he steps forward. "I'm a werewolf, Stiles."

"Yeah, and apparently I'm part cat— Oh." It takes concentration, because he only just acquired his new appendage overnight, but he manages to sweep his tail forward to curl around his legs. "You don't mind the fur."

Derek shakes his head, still smiling.

Stiles drops his eyes to his hip, reaches behind him and wraps his fingers around the base of his tail where bare skin blends to soft, silky fur. He pulls his hand down, smoothing the fur, drawing the length through his fist. "And the tail itself?"

Derek's smile spreads wider to show his teeth. "Could be fun."

Stiles shivers again, feeling goosebumps down his spine. "So, um, should I—"

Derek crosses the space between them in two steps, one hand grasping Stiles' hip as the other reaches behind, fingers tracing down Stiles' spine until he gets to the place where the tail begins. "Fuck," he whispers, then gives Stiles' jeans and boxers a gentle shove down his thighs. From there, he can smooth his hand down over Stiles' ass, aligning his tail with his buttcrack, and he can use his other hand to brush over Stiles' very hard dick.

"Oh, oh god," Stiles gasps, because it's the first time he's had anyone's hand on him but his own. The tail is quivering hard now, restless, like it wants to move and Stiles realizes that he's suppressing that urge. "Fuck it," he pants, letting go.

It swishes up and smacks Derek on the back of the head. Derek freezes and his eyes go very wide.

"Oh, crap," Stiles says, reaching out to grab the end of the thrashing length of flesh and fur. "Sorry, damn thing has a mind of it's own, please don't kill me."

A sound comes out of Derek's mouth then that Stiles isn't sure he's ever heard before. Derek's laughing. It's just a soft chuckle, but it doesn't make it any less startling. "You just need to learn how to control it," he says.

"Okay, not really planning on having it long enough to go to all that trouble," Stiles says, looping his arm, tail and all, around Derek's shoulders. The tip flicks up to caress the curve of Derek's throat. "Ooh, look. It likes you."

"You like me," Derek says, leaning in close, breath ghosting over Stiles' lips. "And I think you should keep it for a while." He wraps his fingers around Stiles' dick, drags his thumb over the head, smearing it with precome.

"What?" Stiles tips his chin up, putting soft little kisses on Derek's full lips. "No. We're gonna have sex, then tail go bye-bye."

Derek's tongue darts into Stiles' mouth and out again to trace his lips. "I like the tail, Stiles," he says, stroking down from Stiles' spine again, fist wrapped around his tail, dragging it down until the fur tickles Stiles' hole. While he's doing that, he's stroking Stiles' dick in long, firm pulls. "I really like the tail."

Stiles whines as Derek twists his fists, one on his dick, the other around his tail, pressing knuckles against the sensitive flesh right behind his balls. "Nngh, Derek," he says. "I'm gonna— Fuck, let me come, then we'll talk about the tail."

"Okay, Stiles," Derek says, and then his tongue is in Stiles' mouth, taking away his breath. The hand on his cock moves swiftly, twisting around the head. The hand on his tail drags it forward, pulls it around Derek's waist where it holds tight as Derek takes his hand off, moves it to hold Stiles' cheek as he kisses him until he's moaning, gasping into Derek's mouth.

Stiles comes with a shudder, tremors flowing through him like a wave, shaking his spine and making his tail quiver and grip tighter, ever tighter on Derek's waist. Warmth soaks through Stiles' shirt, dribbles over Derek's fist and down his shaft. "Oh, fuck," he gasps. "Holy crap."

"Yeah," Derek says, and his breath is coming fast, quick little pants as he searches out Stiles' lips again. "Please, Stiles. Just for a little while. Give it a chance. I _really_ like the tail."

* * *

Allison starts wearing heels to school again. Scott hands in another assignment and gets a B+.

Stiles keeps his tail. Just for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed reading, please hit the [Kudos ♥] button.
> 
> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/vampthenewblack/) | [dreamwidth](http://vampthenewblack.dreamwidth.org)  
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**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [purrrrfect pleasure](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168486) by [PrincezzShell101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincezzShell101/pseuds/PrincezzShell101)




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